It can't get ANY worse!
by Nush
Summary: Tawna delivers a devastating blow to Crash that consists of three words. Insanity ensures! Slight [PinstripexTawna]


**Disclaimer: I don't own-a anything. Crash Bandicoot and pals belong to whoever owns then now. I forget who owns it now. Used to be Naughty Dog didn't it? Oh well. I only own my cardboard house. And a piece of toast. And a hamster who bites my foot. Yum! **

**Pinstripe: sighs and shakes head**

**Summary: Has anyone ever pondered how Tawna left Crash? This story tells of how Tawna broke up with Crash after that all that trekking in the first game just to be with her. It has a little bit of PinstripexTawna (YES! I love them! If you don't like them together, turn back now!) and a BIG surprise -that may shock/horrify/surprise you or make you go "WTF", "Awwww!" or "How scary!"- at the end! Love it or hate it, it's a cue some randomness, soap opera stylings and lots of OOC maybe! (Tawna may be a bit bitchy in this story but I still like her!) Oooooh! This story has been in my mind for weeks, time to unleash thy crazyith mind! **

**"It can't get ANY worse!"**

**Crash strolled outside in the back garden merrily, it had been several weeks since he was reunited with his love Tawna after a long, aimless journey across three islands just to be with her again. He beamed happily, to him Tawna was the most amazing creature he set eyes on. He then decided to go see how she was. With that thought in mind, he strolled into the bedroom to find Tawna and two large suitcases perched on the bed.**

**"Tawna?" he blinked at the blonde bandicoot, oblivious to the suitcases and grinning widely. **

**Tawna turned round to look at him and beamed. "Crash! There you are!" Her tone then transformed into a serious one. "...we need to talk Crash."**

**"Uh-huh!" he nodded, looking at her with puppy dog eyes as he perched himself on the bed.**

**"Well...what can I say? This is so difficult. I mean...I've never done this before..." she pondered at her choice of words, twirling her blonde fringe with a finger. "I've never said these words before..." She inhaled deeply, slowly bending down on one knee.**

**"I think it's time I said those three magic words!" she announced breathlessly.**

**Crash launched upright, his heart beating faster. "_T-t-three magic words!_" he thought to himself, his eyes widening in shock. **

**"I..." she began.**

**"Yes?"**

**"I-I-I...I..."**

**"Yes?"**

**"I...I-I..." she stuttered incessantly, breaking into a cold sweat.**

**"Oh Tawna! I love you too!" he lept on her passionately, attempting to scoop her up into an embrace. (Well somewhat trying to scoop her up, he's half her height!)**

**"I...I'm leaving you!" she announced, choking on his tight embrace.**

**Crash tried to hold back tears. "I knew you loved me-" his sentence came to standstill, as he tried to process what she just announced to him. Crash blinked blankly. "Huh? What?"**

**"I said, I'm leaving you Crash! I said the three magic words! I'm. Leaving. You!" she bellowed audibly into his ear.**

**Crash stared blankly at the female bandicoot, as she started to heave the suitcase off the bed. "YOU WHAT!"**

**Dramatic orchestral music accompanied this moment, capturing the moment as dramatically as possible. It came to an abrupt halt when Tawna threw a shoe at them. "Stupid music!" she hissed vemonously.**

**"But why Tawna!" he demanded. "I went through three islands to be with you! THREE!" he held up three fingers to emphasis his point.**

**"I know, I know! But people change!"**

**"BUT I COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED!"**

**"I KNOW!" Tawna emphasised this by stomping her foot. "I know you went through an epic adventure doing battle with an obese tribe leader, a crazy kangeroo thing, a steriod induced koala mutant, a cheesy "gangster" from some rip-off Godfather film-" **

**"I RESENT THAT REMARK!" a voice screeched from outside.**

**"Who was that!" Crash questioned, squinting.**

**"I'VE NOT FINISHED!" she screamed, throwing a sharp glare at him. "Where was I? Oh! You fought all those freaks and a one-toothed freak and an insane mininature scientist with CHEAP washing up gloves, just to save me. But I'm still leaving you! With my "explaination explained" it's-"**

**Crash rushed over to her, grabbing her wrist. "But why! Is there someone else?"**

**Tawna bit her lip nervously. "O-of course not!" she stuttered, flicking her hair back casually. "Why would there be?"**

**There was shrill beep from outside.**

**"Tawna? Have yous left that marsupial yet?"**

**"WHAT THE-" Crash looked outside the window to see Pinstripe in his car, looking at his watch. He screamed. "ARRRRRRGH! No way! You-"**

**"Oh! Pinstripe!" she hissed, folding her arms.**

**"You and him!"**

**"...Yes."**

**"YOU AND HIM!"**

**"Yep."**

**"You're leaving me for HIM?" Crash struggled to grasp the situation.**

**"YES!" Tawna hissed, thinking he would get the idea.**

**"How! When! Why!"**

**"Oh, details aren't important! We just have so much chemistry! I've changed Crash! And at times like this, we just gotta move on. Gotta move on." she paused for dramatic effect before she started to flap her hand impatiently. "Well see ya! With that I bid you farewell! Au Revoir! Ciao! Adios!" **

**"What has HE got, that I haven't?" Crash scowled, shaking his fist at the window.**

**Tawna sighed in annoyance and rolled her eyes, before delivering her sharp reply: "LOTS. And details I couldn't tell you, unless it was an "M" rated story. And with that I go!" Without hesitation she darted outside as fast as she could with heavy suitcases, placing them in the backseat.**

**"You took your time." Pinstripe rolled his eyes.**

**Tawna hopped into the car, and simply shrugged. "Thank God, you told me to get it over with!"**

**Pinstripe put his arm around her and kissed her.**

**"NOOOOOOOOOOOO! TAWNA! WAIT!" Crash ran outside frantically waving his arms. "You didn't explain! I don't understand why you're leaving me! WAIT! I want an explaination! NOW!"**

**The happy couple simply ignored him as they kissed. And with that display of affection over with, Pinstripe and Tawna drove off into the sunset leaving Crash in the middle of the road tearful and frustrated.**

**"I don't get it. Why did she ditch me?" he pondered as he walked into the now empty house. He then sat down and thought about it deeply. "Was it the hair? Was it the grin? Was it my walk? Is it because I'm a popular video game character and she got dropped by the series and I didn't?" He broke into tears and then halted. "At least it can't GET any worse."**

**And with the "magic words" said, the phone rang shrilly. **

**Crash wiped his eyes and picked up the phone. "Tawna? Oh Tawna! Is that you? Are you gonna come back home? I forgive you! I love you!"**

**"WHAT THE HELL?"**

**"Hello?"**

**"MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" came a familar cackle at the other end of the phone. "Hello Crash, my arch nemesis!"**

**"Hello!"**

**"Don't you know who I am!"**

**"Um...Tawna?"**

**"NO YOU MORON! It's Cortex!"**

**"WHAT? Cortex! How did you get this number!"**

**Silence.**

**"Well...uh...I uh..." he struggled to think of an excuse, his stutter turned back into evil villain mode. "That's not important you fool! I'm phoning you, because I've heard some wonderful news!" Cortex and his merry crew struggled to hold their laughter in. Koala Kong complete with a cast for his head and a sling blurted out on the phone: "CRASH MISERABLE! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"**

**Crash frowned, grinding his teeth furiously. **

**"Even with a distinct lack of protons in the brain, Koala Kong is right! We've heard the news that your little girlfriend has left you! For a failure, Pinstripe did something right! Made you miserable! You, bandicoot mowed down all my henchmen to get this she-bandicoot and she left you! Oh the irony!"**

**Hysterical roars of laughter were heard in the background, as the evil crew were rolling on the floor in hoots of hysterical laughter. Cortex wheezed. "This is the best revenge money can buy. Bwhahahahahahahahaha!" And with that said, the phone went dead.**

**"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Crash sobbed hysterically, his hands covering his eyes. **

**Coco then entered the house with Aku Aku, who were both reduced to a look of bewilderment at the sobbing Crash.**

**"Hey big brother, this isn't like you! What's the matter?" asked a concerned Coco, placing a hand on his shoulder.**

**Aku Aku raised his eyebrow. "I sense something terrible has happened! The unthinkable!"**

**Crash nodded. "I got dumped!"**

**"Oh no!" the two said in unison.**

**"It gets worse! She left me for some cheesy gangster from a rip-off Godfather film! And Cortex rung me to rub it in and laugh at my pain!" he collasped into fit of incessant tears.**

**"Aaaaaaaw! There, there Crash! We've all been there!" Coco gave him a comforting embrace, petting his head.**

**Crash looked up at his sister with wide eyes. "But it can't get any worse, RIGHT!"**

**"Crash! I got something to cheer you up! I've got some BIG news!"**

**Aku Aku nodded calmly with a smile. "It's very good news infact my child."**

**"Crash..." Coco began. "I want you to meet someone very special!"**

**Crash beamed. Things couldn't get ANY worse now.**

**"Crash...meet my new boyfriend and your possible future brother-in-law!" Coco gestured to the door and as if on cue strolled in...(Good place for dramatic music people!)**

**"Tiny love Coco!"**

**"Aaaaaw! I love you too Tiny!" Coco cooed, as Tiny Tiger picked her up, perching Coco on his bulky shoulder. She embraced his neck lovingly. He purred happily, as they kissed.**

**"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"**

**END!**

**Oh my! Oh my! Egads! Did you see that coming! This insane dribble is teh madness I tell you! Oooooh boy! I need some coffee. I need a bag of ice for my sore head. Hope you enjoyed the story, despite it being a bit...well...stupid! R/R if you wish and no flames please or Pinstripe here will let rip with the tommy gun! Or I'll make a BBQ! Yum!**

**Pinstripe: MUHAHAHAHAHAHA! BBQ! Yummers! I get paid for this right?**

**nervous laugh**

**Peace, Love and Respect! Grazie!**

**Love Nush xoxoxoxox**


End file.
